Don’t be a slave to calories. Food is nutrition and fuel; it is meant to be savored. Your tummy is speaking to you for a reason: listen to it, honor it, nourish it. Make it, and yourself, happy. You’ll be better off for it.
Tag: MENTAL HEALTH
If A Hobbit Had An Eating Disorder
Aside from a tidbit on Samwise Gamgee’s eldest daughter, Elanor, we are largely uninformed about the rest of his family after the events of The Lord of the Rings. Sam and his wife, Rosie, had 13 children total before Sam sailed to The Undying Lands and left the Red Book of Westmarch under the care of Elanor and her line.
Because of this large timespan of uncertainty, we are left to imagine on our own a touch about Sam’s personal life.
What if, after the Shire is fully restored, a new rot takes over the land? What if an unnamed disease grips Sam’s household? What if ever hobbit’s ghastly nightmare comes to life, and little Primrose refuses second breakfast one morning, and one of the first lines in Sam’s account reads something like this:
I THINK I BURNED THE CRUSTS ON THE BLUEBERRY TARTS. I’VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE, BUT LITTLE PRIMROSE WON’T EAT THEM, SO I MUST HAVE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.
Commonly, parents of human ED sufferers claim a huge bulk of the blame when it comes to their child’s mental disorder. Momma Smith was heavily into health foods, bought farmer’s market produce, was vegan, hardly went a day without unchaining her bike and perusing 20 miles. Papa Smith was a retired weightlifter, drank protein shakes, ate chicken by the farm-ful. Momma and Papa sometimes commented too harshly on their children’s lack of activity, and the kids already had some genetic propensity to disordered behavior. Do some crunches, Rob, the ladies like rock-hard abs. Annie, go for a run, your legs are looking a bit flabby. If their child winds up with a disorder, the parents would likely think it is their fault.
Hobbits value body fat. Short, stocky frames. Their workouts revolve around food, around farming and cultivating crops and kneading bread for luncheon. If a young hobbit, then, decided to go on extended walking holidays instead of nibbling the crusts off the bread pans, doubtlessly, the hobbit parent would blame himself. But not as human parents do.
The tension would stem from a hobbit parent’s believe that his or her cooking has begun to fail. At least initially, such sentiments would be contained to the individual household. Old Sam makes bacon and eggs for Primrose, just as he has for many a morning past. They’d be perfect, greasy, crispy, with thick yolks and plenty of fat. Little Primrose would fork the dish haphazardly, even hiding bits and pieces in her robe pockets. Sam would likely not notice at first. As time progresses, Primrose claims to head to The Green Dragon for elevenses or afternoon tea, when in reality she’s walking circles near Bywater, maybe eating a biscuit, likely not.
Eating disorders are human ailments; hobbits would not know what the term meant. If a human brought it up, a hobbit would likely chalk it to diets like the Minas Tirith guardsmen – irregular eating hours, namely. Physical illness would be a more logical explanation than a willing non-consumption of food. That’s preposterous. Skipping second breakfast willingly? Pippin would be appalled.
Sam catches on after awhile, seeing Primrose’s stature begin to thin out, much as Frodo looked in their journey together to Mount Doom. He knows, by comparison, that Primrose isn’t eating properly, so he watches her more closely at meal times. She’s always the last to “finish” dinner, and doesn’t scrape up her plates as the other family members do. When asked, she claims the pie tasted funny. Or her stomach feels odd. So Sam gives her some herbs for her tummy, and immediately seeks the Boffins family for cooking lessons. They have a killer mince pie, after all.
The two families start meeting for luncheons, but Primrose still hides food and, at one point, flees the room. Sam and his wife Rosie accuse Old Boffins of adding some despicable spice to the meat. Old Boffins never did such a thing. Sam is slipping in his old age, he’s forgetting how to bake and heat things in the fire. Oh yeah, then why won’t she eat your pies, either, fool of a Boffins?
Meanwhile, Primrose smells bread everywhere she goes. She wants it, but won’t let herself have it.
The conflict boils down to this: Where did Primrose adapt such mindsets? Since I mentioned before that eating disorders are human afflictions, it’d be safe to assume that she was influenced by an outside visitor who suffered from a restriction cycle of some sort. Perhaps a human tourist from Bree who had mentally photographed the svelte physiques of the Elves, with their curving collarbones beneath their vests, long legs, strong fingers bred for bowstrings. It’s unclear as to if humans in Middle Earth ever had eating disorders, but we can go by the assumption that it was possible under certain circumstances. So this girl from Bree’s behavior somehow rubs onto Primrose – who was insecure in the first place, had Bilbo’s disease (a desire to go on adventures and do things unexpected), felt cloistered by The Shire, felt like she lacked control in her life.
When Sam eventually realizes that not every hobbit cook in The Shire can be a failure, the supernatural would occur to him next. Saruman gripped The Shire during the Scouring earlier in his life. Maybe his evil influence hadn’t completely fled, or some other dark power was attempting reign. Where was Gandalf when he needed him? Primrose grew thinner and weaker by every day. Very un-hobbit-like. Diseases are signs of chaos. Perhaps another war was on the verge of happening. Where sickness thrives, bad things will follow.
Humans and hobbits with eating disorders in Middle Earth. In literature, plagues and illness are often the first signs of impending doom. Mirkwood is an effective symbol of this: when Sauron takes over Dol Goldur, spiders begin roaming the woodlands in great numbers, the vegetation dies, the skies turn bleak. Sebastian the hedgehog is overwhelmed by dark sorcery. Blackness. Illness.
Men are cited as the most susceptible to evil influences. Look at Boromir and his lust for the One Ring. So darkness is present during Sam’s era and his final chapter in the Red Book. Children of men begin falling into disordered habits – starvation, binge/purge, losing weight rapidly. Hobbits like Primrose are the last step in this chaotic reign, as hobbits are the most secluded to overbearing evil, but Primrose does eventually.
Sam would be right. It is virtually impossible for a hobbit to take on an eating disorder in normal circumstances. In the world of Middle Earth, sickness derives from evildoers. Dragon-sickness because of excessive wealth. Lands dying because of the Dark Lord in his tower. Men feeling greed, betraying their friends, betraying themselves, for a shiny golden ring.
Dark power
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ED in humans
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ED in hobbits
That’s a basic diagram. The gullibility of men is the downfall of many eras in Middle Earth – Isildur, most notably. So Primrose has to learn ED behaviors from a human, and the human from a higher source.
Saruman was definitely driven out upon the stabbing of Grima his servant. It took awhile, though, to restore The Shire. Primrose could only adapt ED behaviors early in her life, then, as the hobbits swept clean the gardens and fields of the land. Evil cannot be driven out overnight, so its last tendrils caused eating disorders in children.
When Saruman’s touch was entirely confined to the grave, then Primrose begins to heal (as does the child from Bree.) Sam apologizes to Old Boffins as Primrose munches down on his mince pie, and friendships are amended. Sam grows confident in his blueberry tart. Primrose gobbles it up happily, and her stomach expands into a typical hobbit chub. Walking holidays are occasional, and always taken with the family or a friend or two. Saruman is ousted, and Primrose’s disorder is cured.
The eating disorder cannot be blamed on the hobbit. It was the result of an evil much stronger than swords and arrows. Primrose’s eating disorder took much nurturing to heal, the planting of many new seeds of both trees and thought, and the sweeping passage of time.
GALADRIEL’S TREES ARE FLOURISHING. PRIMROSE LOVES MY BACON AGAIN. SARUMAN IS GONE, AND THE SHIRE IS TEEMING WITH LIFE AND LAUGHTER, THOUGH THE BREAD AND JAM NEVER SEEMS TO LAST MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES AT OUR TABLE.
How to Run Eight Miles
WARNING: This post may be triggering to those suffering an eating or exercise disorder. I wrote this narrative for a college course, but it is a true depiction of my own struggles with mental illness. Street names have been altered from the original to protect my location. Photo was taken by me, the morning I embarked on the run highlighted in this piece.
30 minutes to an hour before I run:
The route goes down Boundary past the manatee mailbox, along the straight path to Lennox and its dark asphalt lining that hurts my knees, and Lennox to the apartment. Eat a banana with peanut butter. Open up a second bottle of water and take a few sips, just in case the first bottle wasn’t full or I didn’t drink enough yesterday. Put on a sports bra and spandex. Lace my shoes, and try not to think too hard about how long eight miles is, or how all I’ll want is to relax in my cozy robe afterwards.
One mile into the run:
I only have seven miles to go. See the converging intersections at Sunnydale? There’s a sidewalk on the other side. Keep breathing. I don’t need this Clif Bar yet, put it back in the wristlet. The experts say the earliest I should eat is at the hour mark of a run.
Three miles into the run:
Five kilometers is easy. Maybe eight miles is too short. Maybe I should take Boundary back, it’s five miles and my Lennox map is only three. I’ll challenge myself. You’ve burned three hundred calories. Why not burn 1000 instead of 800? Your belly rolls over your shorts, fatass. Shut up.
Five miles into the run:
Aren’t you glad you listened to me and took the longer route? My headband is drenched and my skin blazing. Sweat burns more calories. There’s no shame in walking at this point. That passing white Chevrolet would judge your endurance from his rearview mirror if you start walking. I’ll reach six miles in maybe five minutes. Maybe I can make it.
Eight miles into the run:
Don’t you dare eat that Clif Bar. Oatmeal Raisin Walnut is the highest calorie out of your collection, don’t you realize? My legs are wobbling, I need nourishment. If you eat, instead of 1000 calories, you’ll have net burned 800 after you eat the Clif Bar, and at that point you might as well have simply stopped at the eight mile mark. That tan house ahead still has their trash can at the edge of the driveway. Throw the Clif Bar in there, good girl. My tongue is dry and sticky. I need water. Don’t walk up to a stranger’s door and ask for water. That’s as bad as stopping to eat.
Nine miles into the run:
1 mile to go. 100 calories to go. My knee is inflamed, I’ll injure myself I keep at this pace. If you stop now you will have to eat a smaller breakfast than a cup of oatmeal with peanut butter, banana, and milk. Walking burns less than running. So instead of 1000 calories it’d be more like 960, and that’s 40 more calories you could have burned if you kept running, fatass. Shut up.
Mile 10, and after:
Cool down by walking the loop around my apartment complex. You will burn an extra 10 calories. Go inside and stretch, drink some water, only after you step on the scale and weigh yourself. If you weigh more than 126 pounds, then obviously you ate too much last night. Eat a nice breakfast, but only after you’ve showered, because 7:30 is too early for breakfast. 8 is okay. I just mastered 10 miles, but why waste your progress by eating too much? Mom saw me throw out half of my rice last night, she’ll see I’m restricting. Then don’t be greedy, make a smaller breakfast. Write down your meals today and don’t eat above 2000 calories. Okay. Good girl.
If you suffer from an eating disorder and want to get help, do not hesitate to reach out to a health professional. Others are here to guide you into and through recovery.
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